Shattered
by morbid-depression
Summary: Taken place after Drop The World Pt. 2, everyone returns from break...except for Eli, he can't seem to face Clare after what he did to her. Rating may change in future. Chapter 3 up.
1. What do I do?

"_To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."_

**Eli's POV**

Hospitals are no fun, especially after Clare had left in a huff. She left me after she had told me, "You scare me, Eli. I can't be around you." I begged her not to go, I even grabbed onto her arm in desperation. "I'm sorry, but I can't!" she exclaimed before she left the room.

Bullfrog walked into the room in utter confusion as I watched Clare run out of the hospital and out of my life forever. "What just happened?" asked Bullfrog.

"Clare hates me," I said as I went to lie back down. I turned away from him as a tear fell down my cheek. I didn't even try to stop it; they just kept flowing down my cheeks. I lost the closest person in my life…again. First Julia, now Clare.


	2. Him

**A/N: sorry for taking forever to update, I've been busy with crap and I am contemplating what to do in life. Oh well on with the story!**

**Clare's POV:**

Spring break is now over and Alli and I are getting ready to walk over to Degrassi. I was not looking forward to going to Degrassi, because Degrassi means English class and English class means Eli and Eli meant unneeded. I didn't want to have to deal with him after the incident at the hospital.

"Are you ready to go Clare?" I heard Alli's chirpy voice from behind me.

"Yes, I'm not going to allow _him _to control my life any longer." I said with confidence. I checked my phone for the time, but was interrupted by a text from Adam.

**Clare, just to let you know Eli won't be at school today. I went to him a couple days ago; he didn't even look me in the eye. What happened between you two?**

** -Adam**

"Well, looks like I won't have to deal with him today," I said aloud. I had a big smile plastered on my face yet, I was heartbroken.

**It's nothing Adam. Don't worry :)**

** -Clare**

We left for Degrassi. It didn't take long after we arrived for Adam to approach me. 

"Clare, tell me what happened. Please, I need to know. I'm worried about Eli." Adam said with a serious look on his face. I motioned for Alli to leave. She took the hint and walked through the front doors.

"I broke up with him. He was suffocating me. He manipulated me! I can't take his baggage anymore!" I began to get loud.

"So this was 'nothing'. Doesn't seem like it. But who was the guy to help you out when your parents gave you grief? Who was there to comfort you? Huh? Who?" Adam said sternly.

I was left silent. "E-Eli." I managed to choke out.

"Yeah, _Eli_. You know, when I went to visit him he had on long sleeves…in 90 degree weather!" Adam exclaimed.

"Wait, what? H-he's…" I was cut off by the bell. Adam and I went our separate ways. I didn't see him for the rest of the day, other than English. Even then he ignored me. After school I grabbed my bag out of my locker and other needed item for the night's homework. I started walking towards the outside when I ran into something hard as a wall. I stumbled back, regaining my balance.

"You ok?" I heard a deep voice ask. It was unfamiliar to me. I looked up and saw a boy that was very tall and dirty blonde that just covered his forehead.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." I replied.

"Well hello 'fine', I'm Jake." He held out his hand for me to shake it. I couldn't help but laugh.

"My name is Clare. It's nice to meet you." I took his hand in mine.

"See ya around Clare, I gotta run." He said as he started walking away. I smiled to myself. He was gorgeous. He knew how to make a girl laugh. He was perfect.

**Reviews would be nice…please.**

**I will love you all forever **

**And I would like to thank ****VoiceAndVirtues**** for being the first to review :)**

**Anyways, Aiden (my pen name) out!**


	3. I'm Fallin'

**Yo wassup, it's Aiden again. I am determined to post chapter 3…and well here it is!**

**It will be better than chapter 2…to be honest I am writing this at 5:30 in the morning…so don't expect a whole lot. As of right now, spell check is my best friend…well on with the story! Sorry for the rant. And to ****My world of Eli**** don't worry, this is strictly Eclare but with drama! Also sorry for the really late update. School has started and it sucks!**

**Warning: some cutting…maybe. **_**Italics**_**- songs, flashback or his inner voice (you'll know which it is)**

**Eli's POV:**

Adam came to visit me again, for like the millionth time. I was starting to wish he'd leave me alone. I refused to go to school; I haven't been there in 2 weeks. Thank the doctors I have an excuse. Stupid broken leg. I was also happy I didn't go because I was scared to face Clare. I knew for a fact that she hated my existence now.

Adam would bring me my work from my classes. I never did it though; it would just pile up next to my bed. I am such a horrible procrastinator.

I would lie on my bed all day. Bullfrog and CeCe always tried to get me out of the house, but I refused to go anywhere outside my house. I heard a knock at door.

"Baby boy, are you feeling alright? You haven't eaten in a few days." CeCe said.

"I'm fine. Just leave me alone." I replied turning away from her.

"Eli, we're worried about you. After what happened with Clare, we don't want you to go back to your…..old ways." Bullfrog said.

"I'm not going back! Clare helped with all that crap. I promise I won't go back to my _ways_. I _**promise**_." I said sternly. I knew my parents would never believe me though. I tried so hard to keep from hoarding again. It wasn't easy but I'm managing to make it. My parents left my room to leave me to wallow in my self pity. I looked up at my wall to see a picture of Clare and me. She looked so happy back then; it made me wonder what had changed. The sound of the doorbell brought me out of my thoughts.

"Eli! Adam is here! I'm sending him up." CeCe yelled up to me.

Adam had walked through my door just seconds after CeCe announced he was here. He was holding yet another stack of homework for me to procrastinate on, but he also had a saddened look on his face.

"Here you go," he said, handing me my homework. "Eli, can we talk?"

"Um, sure. Am I gonna like what you're gonna talk about?" I replied.

"I don't know. Probably not. Clare got together with some guy. Jake, I think his name is. I don't like who he is but, she seems really in to him. So, I left her alone. I just thought I'd let you know before you go back to Degrassi. Speaking of that...when do you go back?"

"I don't want to go back, but I'm coming back tomorrow. When did they get together?" I asked trying to hide the sadness on my face.

"Um...I think three days ago. She looks really happ-"

"I don't need to know!" I shouted, cutting him off. "Please, leave. I need to get some rest for school."

"Dude, it's only 6."

"OUT!"

He left quickly. I reached over to my dresser, opened one of the drawers. I pulled out my razor blade and towel. Already tainted with my blood. I heard a knocking at my door before I could do any damage.

"Baby Boy? I brought you some food just in case you get hungry." I heard CeCe say.

I threw the towel under my bed just before she walked in. She left the plate of food next to my bed and left the room. I never touched it.

**~*~The Next Day~*~**

I stood in front of the doors with cane in hand (**A/N I love Eli's cane in the show xD**)and slowly made my way up the steps. I made my way over to my locker, but not without nasty comments made my way.

"Didn't he crash his car to kill himself?"

"Ugh, look out it's Mister Suicidal."

"Serves him right. Clare could do better."

I just wanted to run away, and just my luck, before I could I ran into the one person I wanted to avoid. Clare. I froze in my tracks not knowing what to do. I tried to form words but my brain couldn't process anything in the sudden encounter.

"Eli, you're back. How have you been?" Clare asked looking at anything but me.

"I-I've been better, I- never mind." I said. I stopped myself from telling her that I missed her like crazy and that this break-up is making me do stupid things.

"Oh, um, ok?" She started to turn away when I grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug. "ELI! Let go!"

When she yelled that I immediately let go and hobbled away as fast as I could go with a broken leg. I went to my first class trying not to have another event. As soon as lunch started I went to the most secluded area in Degrassi to be alone. I put my iPod headphones into my ear and played my music as loud as it would go. The first song that played was "Savin' Me" by Nickelback (1). This instantly made me think of Clare, and how she was the only one who could save me.

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
>With these broken wings I'm fallin'<br>And all I see is you  
>These city walls ain't got no love for me<br>I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
>And oh I scream for you<br>Come please I'm callin'  
>And all I need from you<br>Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

I was indeed falling. Into a fiery blackhole of no return. In my pocket I had a back-up razor with me. _ "Don't do it. You'll disappoint your parents. They'll hate you just like everyone else in this miserable world." _My inner voice told me. I took the blade and pressed it to my already scarred wrist. A small river of blood began to trickle down my arm.

The bell rang signaling the end of lunch. I pulled my sleeve back up and headed to my class. By the end of the day I was exhausted. I was thankful to go back home. Bullfrog had picked me up in the Hog. Morty was still in the repair shop.

"Hey, son. How was your first day back?" Bullfrog asked.

"Fine, can we just go home? I'm tired." I said, looking outside my window. I saw Clare, with who I assumed to be Jake. He held her with care and kissed her forehead. Made me sick to my stomach.

"Alright," he said as he pulled out of the parking lot.

After we arrived home I immediately went into my room. I grabbed my laptop and signed onto my FaceRange page. I noticed that Clare still hasn't removed me from her friends.

**Clare**: had an interesting day today but was good :)

Comments:

**Jake**: hmmm I wonder why ;)

**Clare**: oh be quiet.. :P

**Jake**:I'll see ya tonight Clarebear

**Clare**: can't wait :)

I swear I tasted the vomit in my mouth. I heard the little "bing" signaling I had a message.

**clare-e23**: Hey, are you doing ok? Adam is worried about you.

**eli-gold49**: I'm fine. Now leave me alone. Go have fun with your…boyfriend.

**clare-e23**:Ok, jeez. Sorry for being worried. How do you know about Jake?

**eli-gold49**: Adam told me, and I saw you with him. You have no right for worrying about me anymore. Worry about your precious boyfriend.

**clare-e23**: Now that makes me worry even more…

**eli-gold49**: Leave me alone. I'm serious. I'm done with your drama.

**clare-e23**: I am not drama!

**eli-gold49**: Ha, sure. How do I know you're not lying? Like how you _**lied **_to me.

**clare-e23 has signed off.**

"_Ha, thought so. You dirty liar." _I felt somewhat bad for treating Clare like that but she treated me no differently. How was I supposed to face her after this? After that fiasco I took my meds and went to bed. The next morning I woke up to CeCe staring down at me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked.

"Um, I was sleeping." After I had said that I realized that my arms weren't covered.

"I thought you had stopped this? Eli this isn't good for you." She said.

"I'm sorry. I'm still trying to get over Clare." I said.

"Get ready for school; I don't want to deal with this."

I put my clothes on for the day, grabbed my bag and went down stairs. That's when I heard my parents talking.

"Bullfrog he's doing it again…the cutting." I heard CeCe say.

"Maybe we should take him back to his therapist. She could help like last time…hopefully." Bullfrog said.

"I am not going back there. Those times were hell on Earth." I said coming out from the shadows.

"Eli, we're only doing what's best for you." CeCe said, looking at me with sorrowful eyes.

"If you want what's best for me, then don't send me back there." I said sternly.

Bullfrog and CeCe both let out a sigh, neither saying a word.

"Who's driving me to school?" I asked to change the subject.

"I will," CeCe said.

After that, we jumped into her car a sped off like a herd of turtle towards Degrassi. I tried my best to stay away from Clare all day and succeeded for the most part until after school. Everyone had gone home while I stayed to catch up on my work, or so I thought I was alone. Once I was almost out the door I heard an all too familiar voice say, "Jake! That hurts!"

"Oh shut up Clare, you know you like it." I heard a voice, whom I assumed to be Jake…yet again.

"Stop it!" Clare exclaimed. I peered around the corner to see Clare pushed up against the lockers by a guy almost a head taller than me. He had his lips against her neck. She had a terrified look upon her face. I had to do something.

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAND…scene. More will be posted later (not often though).**

**1. I do not own this amazingly beautiful song. I was listening to it as I wrote this scene and I just HAD to put it in. I love Nickelback. I thought it was perfect for Eli.**

**I don't like Jake at all so he's the antagonist in my story. So sorry Cake lovers. I'm strictly Eclare. Next chapter will be Clare's POV. **

**-Aiden :)**


	4. Choices

**HOLY CRAP! WHO SAW THE ECLARE MOMENT AT THE END OF THE NOW OR NEVER FINALE? I JUST ABOUT HAD A HEART ATTACK! They better get back together :) or I'll be sad…this chapter will be a lot of dialogue so sorry…**

**Clare's POV:**

I couldn't believe the event that was unveiling before my eyes. Jake was doubled over in pain after Eli had punched him right in the gut. I had my hands covering my mouth in shock. My eyes were watering up with tears that almost overflowed over my eye lids.

"What the hell?" I heard Jake yell towards Eli.

"Don't you **ever** touch her like that **again**!" Eli yelled as he prepared to punch Jake in the face.

"Eli! Stop!" I yelled as I pulled him away from Jake. He had the most anger filled look draped upon his face. "Eli…please calm down." I said as I looked into those beautiful green eyes I fell for. I know I shouldn't but I can't stop looking at them.

"Yeah, get out of here Emo Boy. No one likes you anymore. Why don't you go crash another car into a wall. Maybe this time you'll go. Just like you wanted to a few weeks ago. Clare hates you. She said she always did. She **never **loved you." Jake said with a smirk on his face. It wasn't the same as Eli's though.

"BOTH OF YOU! STOP IT!" I yelled. After that I left. I walked myself home.

When I arrived home I saw a note from my mother.

_Clare,_

_Went out. I won't see you until tomorrow, possibly. Dinner is in the fridge. I love you. Be safe. _

_Love, Mom_

Typical…she's out again. Not like she cares for her 16 year old daughter anymore. I let out a deep sigh. I pulled out my lap top. I signed on to my FaceRange page and saw that both Eli and Adam were online. I decided to talk to Adam.

**clare-e23:** Hey…

**adam-tor84: **Hey, Eli told me what happened with Jake. Are you ok? I swear next time I see Jake he's going to get it.

**clare-e23:** I'm fine; Eli already took care of Jake. He punched him in the stomach.

**adam-tor84:** Eli really cares about you still. He told me he was worried when he saw you with Jake like that after school. He almost didn't interfere. But once he saw how scared you looked, he said he had too.

**clare-e23: **Really? I should talk to him. See if he's ok…

**adam-tor84: **I don't know if that's a smart idea. You gave him the impression you never wanted to talk to him.

**clare-e23 has signed out.**

I grabbed my bag and left for Eli's house on my bike. I was there in a short amount of time. I left my bike in the middle of the sidewalk. I ran up and began knocking on the door. I noticed Morty was back in the driveway. I knocked again this time slightly louder. About a minute later the door opened to Eli standing behind the door. I noticed his boot was gone.

"Clare? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I wanted to talk…about this afternoon. If that's alright with you." I said looking down upon the ground in shame. Shame for even talking to him.

"Um, sure? My parents are out though. You're still welcome in though." He said.

I smiled and gave him my thanks as I walked into his house. The last time I was there was when I was helping Eli finish cleaning his room.

**Eli's POV:**

I could not believe what I was seeing. Clare, at my house? I still can't believe she was here.

"So, what's up?" I asked; trying to not be very awkward.

"Thank you, for helping me with Jake and stuff…I appreciate it." Clare said. "I don't even know what I saw in him. I thought he was perfect, my mom loved him. He was a good guy, never hurt anyone-"

"Aside from you," I interjected.

"Yeah, look. I-"

"Clare, I miss you. It's hell without you. I miss being able to call you mine. You meant everything to me. I'm sorry for screwing up our relationship. I'm not asking for another chance at being with you, I'm asking for another chance at being your friend. Please?" I said.

"I'd like that. Start fresh, huh?" she smiled. Oh that smile I fell so hard for.

"Exactly." I smirked.

"Eli, I know I shouldn't be asking this but…my mom isn't going to be home tonight and I don't want to stay home. I'm scared Jake may come by and pay an unwelcome visit. So, what I'm asking is if I could stay the night here?" she said. Her face was red with embarrassment.

"Sure, but we'd be alone here. CeCe and Bullfrog went to a concert." I said scratching the back of my head at the awkwardness. "You are more than welcome though to stay here."

"Thank you!" she said as she tackled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her and thought to myself, _God how I've missed this girl_. She looked up at me with those big blue eyes. The first thing I noticed about her the day I ran over her glasses.

"Um, Clare? Did Jake really mean it when he said that you never had any feelings for me at all?" I asked.

"No, I swear. I did have feelings for you, he was just trying to mess with you." She said burying her head into my chest. I didn't know how to respond other than with a smile.

"C-Clare…I love you." I said as I let her go. What happened next was the most unexpected thing that I thought could've happened.

**Sorry for such a short chapter, it's currently 4 am….I'm sorry. I'll try to update soon!**


	5. Don't Go

**OH MY GOSH! I am so sorry for being MIA for a long time. I've just been having a lot of stuff happen to me and my computer died on me. :'( My review on Nowhere to Run: What the hell Clare? How could you go back to Jake? Eli was there for you! He practically saved your freakin' life! Ali is such a ho. How could you go back to Jake after he KISSED your best friend! Poor Eli, if I were Clare I'd jump back into his arms and kiss him like there's no tomorrow :D This chapter is mainly in Eli's point of view again. I like writing in his POV. Well…on with the story! :D WARNING: some violence, language and "themes." Changed to M to be safe.**

**Eli's POV:**

Unexpected. Clare grabbed my face between her hands and kissed me with more passion than a kiss we've ever shared. When she broke away I was sitting there dumbfounded.

"C-Clare? What was that for?" I asked.

"Um, I'm so sorry Eli. I shouldn't have done that. You wanted to stay friends and I ruined it." She said, her face beet red.

"You didn't ruin anything. I just don't think that's a good idea for us. I'm unstable, and you just broke up with your boyfriend. You shouldn't jump into another relationship." I said moving away from her.

"But Eli, I want to be with you," She said moving closer to me.

"Clare, no. We can't do this. You'll just do the same thing to me again. I don't want another heart break. If you do that again, I'll just kill myself. I'm serious. We cannot do this."

"You say you want to be with me, but once the chance comes you push me away. What the hell?" she said, on the verge of yelling.

"Clare, listen to me. I don't want to hurt you again. I don't want to risk getting hurt. That day I ran over your glasses was the best day of my life. I fell in love with a blue-eyed angel. Once I found out that my blue-eyed angel was in a class of mine, I wanted to spend every minute with you. That Romeo and Juliet project was the highlight of my life. I got to kiss you. Vegas Night was a nightmare. I thought Fitz would have hurt you. I'd rather him kill me and be satisfied in his sorry life than him lay a finger on you. After winter break I realized I had become clingy and I never meant to. After I crashed Morty and you left me in the hospital, I thought there was no hope for me. My blue-eyed angel left me. I do want another chance with you; I just don't want either of us getting hurt."

She sat silent for some time. I was tense with anxiety.

"Well then I guess no one should be hurt, hmm? Can we give _us_ another try? Please?"

I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"I take that as a 'yes'?" she giggled. I held her in my arms like how I did after I told her I was a hoarder.

I looked at the clock; it was around 7 p.m. I figured I should get something for dinner.

"Are you hungry? CeCe left me some money for pizza, I could order some if you want any." I said.

"Sure, that'd be nice." She replied.

I left to the kitchen to order the pizza. By the time the pizza arrived, Clare looked as if she was bored out of her mind. She was just sitting on the couch looking around.

"Clare? Pizza's here. Do you want to watch a movie?" I asked putting the pizza box on the coffee table by the couch.

"Oh," she said, snapping out of her trance, "sure. Just nothing scary, ok? I don't want to have nightmares." She replied.

"No promises." I winked at her. I went over to my shelf of movies and looked through them. I pulled _Insidious_ off the shelf. "How about this?" I asked holding up the DVD.

"Eli! That movie is supposed to be really scary! NO!" she exclaimed at the sight of it.

"Please? I'll hold you all throughout the movie if you want me to. You know you want too. If you make me watch some girly flick I will go lock myself in my room." I stated.

She scowled at me until she motioned me to put it in. I sat next to her on my couch as the movie began. She mumbled something inaudible. I turned my head to look at her.

"I can't believe you're making me watch this…" she mumbled again.

"I love you Clare," I said kissing her temple.

We got about half way through the movie and Clare was scared out of her mind, hiding in my chest, when I heard a pounding at the door.

"No, Eli! Stay!" she yelled when I started to get up.

"Don't worry, nothing is going to happen. The door is **right there**. I won't be that far." I said. She let out a heavy sigh. I went to answer the person pounding at my door.

"Hel- what the hell do you want?" I whispered to the person at my door.

"GIVE. ME. CLARE." He said, putting emphasis on each word.

"Get out of my house." I said. I tried to shut the door in his face, but he put his foot in the way. "I mean it. I'll call the cops."

"Oooooooo, I'm soooo scared." He pulled a gun out and pointed it to my face. I immediately put my arms up. "Back up and let your guest in." I did as he said. He walked inside and was finally visible to Clare.

"JAKE? Wh-what are you doing here?" Clare yelled out.

"To win my Clare-bear's heart back." He said with a wicked smile plastered on his face.

"No," she said. "Let Eli and me go. You don't belong here."

"Say you'll be with me or I'll shoot." Jake said still pointing the gun at me.

"Jake…please, put the gun down." She took a step closer to us.

"If you move ANY closer I'll shoot!" he hand was trembling but I knew he was serious.

**Clare's POV:**

I was standing behind Eli, helpless. I could see Jake and the gun but, I couldn't save Eli. Either choice I made would kill him. Physically and mentally.

What neither of them knew was that I had the police on the phone since I heard Eli say, "I'll call the cops,"

"Jake…PLEASE. I'm begging you, don't do this. If you shoot him, you'll go away for a long time; we all know you don't want that." I said.

"I want YOU, Clare. I don't want anything else." Jake said.

"I-I can't." I made the stupid mistake of moving towards them. Before I knew it I heard five shots be fired. Eli dropped to ground; yelling out in agony.

Jake immediately dropped the gun and tried to run, but was too late, the police were already here.

"Hands behind your back son," The first police officer said. The second one went over to Eli.

"The paramedics are on their way, do not panic son. You will be ok."

_Oh shut up, just save his life!_ I thought to myself. There was blood all around him and he was struggling to breath. The second one cut Eli's shirt off his body. I saw where the bullets had hit him.

"He's been struck four times." The second officer said.

_Four? But there was five shots…_I thought to myself until I felt a searing pain in my leg. _I was hit? How did I not feel it?_ I fell to the ground in pain; covering up the wound.

"I-I need help." I stuttered out. "P-Please, save him first. Mine is just a minor wound."

The paramedics were at the door with a gurney. They put Eli onto the gurney and wheeled him to the ambulance.

"Sweetie, what is your name?" A female paramedic asked me.

"Clare, his name is Eli." I said, nodding my head in the direction of Eli.

"Thank you Clare. Everything will be ok. Eli is being rushed to the hospital. We'll wrap your leg up and take you in one of the other squad cars." She explained.

We did as she said and by the time I arrived at the hospital I was in severe pain. I was crying out in sheer agony. _Eli, you better not leave me, I need you,_ I though to myself. Before I knew it I was off to the hospital.

**Well that's chapter five. Sorry it's so bad :( I wish I could've done a better job…I guess. I don't know. Hope you liked it. Reviews would be nice. Each one who reviews gets a pretty cupcake *holds tray of cupcakes decorated like Elijah Goldsworthy* I love you all if you review my story 3 3 3**


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